Hey everyone sorry I haven’t been posting and taking the time to read your posts but I have been so busy it’s not funny. In fact so busy I feel like hypo-mania has come back. I’m totally stressed with all the work I’ve put on myself, in fear that if I don’t stay busy I’ll get real depressed again and have a psychotic breakdown.
In fact over the past 3 weeks I have did two web sites for other people to make money and started 2 more blogs of my own to make money as well as updating my ones I already had everyday. Things were going pretty good at till these past few weeks.
I feel like I can’t breath and I’m having trouble focusing on even getting one post out each day. It takes me at least 3 hours to make a post that normally would take 30 minutes because I get so distracted by thinking of everything I need to do that day. I find when I’m thinking of those things trying to do them all it doesn’t work, and before you know it I’ve got 10 things started at one time and having a melt down. I want to scream when my computer freezes up or I have computer work to do as well as house work and just don’t know where to start.
I’ve also been worrying a lot these past few weeks feeling like something terrible is going to happen. There is nothing worse than feeling fear all the time that something is going to happen bad. I feel like things have been going to good because in the past every time good happens for awhile, bad follows right after. I hate this feeling. In fact next week I start back in therapy which is gonna throw a loop in my other plans for starting back in wellness again. Maybe I’ll figure a way to juggle it all. If not will start it back again in the spring of the year.
I want to go to either the picture above or one of these places in this video below and just stay for eternity and never think or worry about anything anymore. Bring all my family, friends and my fur-babies.
Starting tomorrow I am also going to go back to a schedule. I did really well on this when I lived In Georgia, but didn’t start it back up when I got here ques cause I was so busy for a few weeks getting it together here Missouri. I really like schedules and when I make mine I allow myself so much time for each thing I need to do and then move on to the next. It just seems so easy if I have in from of me a bullet journal with a list of things I need to get down.
I check them off when I’m finished and if I don’t get it done I move on to the next one on the list and if I finish that one early I go back to what I was doing, and this worked most of the time. However though in the past I was able to complete everything in the time I allowed myself for that task. With me being a jumbled mess not sure if it will work when I start back in the morning, but will see.
I feel like I need a vacation since I’m feeling this way as I haven’t had one in forever and been looking at some photos on pexels.com. I love this site and get most all my photos I use to work with from there as it’s free to use in commercial sites. Here are some pictures I use for my Quotes I make each day.
This reminds me of a waterfall that my husband and I would visit when we lived in Oregon. So beautiful and peaceful as could be. The walks there good memories we made.
If I could go here I’d stay forever. Ohh yes this place would be like a place to live in serenity and just forget the world. Sit out on the porch and work all day on my computer with a cold margarita.
Well its’ my bedtime as I’m tired. I cooked a wonderful dinner tonight and I’m still full from eating it. That’s something else I’m starting Tomorrow as well, eating less, back to small portions. Have a good night you all.